| The fiasco... |
[28 Jun 2004|11:55pm] |
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thankful |
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Coldplay |
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The fiasco of need and desire.
A human drama of two conflicting and desperate wants as played out in Denver Colorado, at a native fast food restaurant.
Preface.
I had been dismissed by a girl who I had begun to think of as thee original Ms. Jesus. Turns out she was just drug addict with deplorable grammar and a tenuous grasp on reality. Everyone knows the type, the saucy trollop that MUST be the life of the party, the girl on a megalomaniacal quest for adoration, balancing a drink on her forehead. Truth be told this fuck-up had garnered some respect by wearing disguises that I hadn't seen before, she said her aim was true love but she had more nefarious plans. I can't be sure but I think somehow she thought I was a rung in the ladder to a hipster elite, man what a mistake. There is a much larger back story to this but, that is for another time.
Part 1.
It was, in fact a dark and stormy night. At this point, all I wanted was some onion rings. They say that every thing you ask for comes with some thing you don't want.This is the story on how I killed a romance that could have spanned the ages, there at the hamburger stand.
Maybe I'll finish this tomorrow.
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| 48 hours can undo everything you ever hoped for in you life |
[23 Jun 2004|10:25pm] |
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Not to be too dramatic but, over the past year I have been through hell. I think things might be better now. I have reached a place in my heart and mind that either destroys you or makes everything else look easy.
We'll see.
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| They couldn't just call / I could've slept in. |
[05 Nov 2003|12:53pm] |
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Shit man! While it is a blessing to loose something that brings you down (like a job at Wax Trax) it's a curse as well. Now I have to find a new job and that sucks! The undeniable alienation and dissatisfaction I felt there was so glaringly obvious that they let me go before I could quit. Fuckers!
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| Not much new. |
[04 Nov 2003|03:46pm] |
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mood |
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Defeated |
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music |
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Some really cool northern soul comp I got from work. |
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Cold, clear and bright. I've decided that Denver is Hell. It's a beautiful day here, in Hell. Still no walk on the beach, ya' know?
Seraphim Shock is almost done with the album. We've got one more song to track, mixing and mastering then we're done. Cool, cool. I need to find a place to live after this tour. The possibility for homelessness is becoming very real. HA! I don't want to be here now; I want to be on tour. Oh well...
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| I am not angry, just late to the party. |
[22 Oct 2003|05:31pm] |
Everything is known(?). Extrapolation and refinement without the whole story. Without communication the knowledge is based on interpretation. Only privy to my feelings as I let them out. Keep in mind that you knew long before I did. I am a little behind in the process. Sorry, if this is getting old, I recommend that you go elsewhere for advice dispensing. I write because I want to. Sorry if this is short but the message I deleted was something I had already thought about.
Thanks.
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[14 Oct 2003|11:30pm] |
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If you think having a boot full of cigarette ashes fall on your face at 9am is heaven, then my life is idyllic. I need to leave Denver once and for all. This town is cursed!
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[13 Oct 2003|06:09pm] |
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Well,it looks like I'll be back on the road with Seraphim Shock in late December. I like touring, kind of!
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[05 Oct 2003|12:03am] |
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WOW! today wasn't pure hell!
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| Compulsions X boredom = ? |
[02 Oct 2003|06:45pm] |
After a long illness like not unlike cancer, we died.
Come on, If you think you're tough enough.
Don't drink pee in 2003!
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| Flogging a dead horse. |
[30 Sep 2003|03:22pm] |
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mood |
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Antiseptic anger |
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music |
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It's too cool for you. Also, you couldn't appreciate it |
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It’s seems failure and anger are the only compass points in this neverending emotional vomitron. My new reality is beyond the pale.
I hate people who set you up for failure, watching all the while, you as you squirm under their designs. I want to be rid of any connections. Like the sound of a thousand bad nights, or The waking light of 94 mornings spent alone All I do is sit and wait, thinking over the ugliest night I’ve ever endured, repeated in rapid succession, every 24 hours. Night after night after night.
Doris! Earth to Doris!
Yes, I will fucking destroy everything before you fuck me up again.
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